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Reintroducing - The Beetles! Let's all repeat the nonconformist's oath: "I promise to be different. I promise to be unique. I promise not to repeat things other people say." With that spirit in mind, millions of Americans are finding a way to be themselves, to show their individuality by buying the latest mass-produced unique product. This time, it's that trendy little footwarmer, the VW Bug. Everyone knew someone in high school who had saved their money and managed to get their first car - a Beetle with mismatched fenders and a muffler that sounded like dinosaurs were humping in his trunk. Some of us even had the privilege of riding in one, the right half of our body hanging out the window while we tried not to kick the gas pedal with our left foot. USA Today recently ran a cover story on the "national obsession" with the new, souped-up version of the car. The bright shiny cover photo showed a crowd showed a crowd gathered around a parked Bug. One man was even hunched over peaking inside, his face pressed against the window. A couple of the J-Crew behind him were wearing in-line skates, a vehicle only slightly smaller than the Bug itself. The story compared Beetle-mania today with the craze over Mustangs in the 60s. The big difference, though, is that when Mustangs were introduced 30 years ago, the previous model was a horse. It was different. Everyone's seen a Bug. Hell, even Disney had their own version. It's only a matter of time before anyone whose anyone is driving Dick Van Dyke's old car from Chitty Chitty Bang Bang. The new unit is yuppified; more sleek and low to the ground. It does look different from other cars - creating a Yugo meets ZZ Top's Eliminator vibe - but it won't look any different from the some 50,000 cars a year Volkswagen plans to produce and sell. They'll all be unique together. When did we start mistaking nostalgia for uniqueness and individuality? "I was the first to person to start liking this!" is the new battle cry of the in crowd. Somebody took the first brave step in the 90s admitting they thought disco was cool and that ABBA were misunderstood geniuses, and suddenly it's Groundhog's Day. Please, somebody tell me what we have to do right to get the girl and roll the credits. Grunge is almost nostalgia now. Didn't that just happen about five minutes ago? We can't wait for something to be over so we can remember it fondly. There will probably be a brief moment between the time Titanic finally slides off the big screen and the time it comes out on video when people will look back on what it was like to stand in line at the theatres. There may even be commemorative coins. If this continues, and we don't create anything new, what will we be celebrating in ten years? We'll be stuck pining away for the actual concept of nostalgia itself. We'll sit back on the porch and reminisce about what it was like to reminisce about something that had only happened once. No problem. Someone will just have to re-issue the luxury sport utility vehicle. -Nick |
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