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Small Soldiers Universal Pictures Stars: Kirsten Dunst, Kevin Dunn, Tommy Lee Jones (voice), Frank Langella (voice) Small Soldiers is one twisted little movie. One look at the cast will tell you that. The guys from Spinal Tap - Christopher Guest, Michael McKean, and Harry Shearer - provide the voices for the noble Gorgonites. Their leader, Archer, is voiced by Frank Langella, of Dracula fame. The Magnificent Seven (or a few of them) - Ernest Borgnine, Jim Brown, and Bruce Dern - provide the voices for the Commando Elite. Their bad-ass leader, Chip Hazard, is voiced by Tommy Lee Jones, of Red Dog and Batman fame. One of the guys from Mr. Show created the battling little buggers, as demanded by Heartland Play Systems and Globotech CEO Gil Mars, played by Denis Leary. Christina Ricci and Sarah Michelle Gellar provide the voices for a demented Barbie army. Still need to ask if this is a kid's picture? Director Joe Dante is on familiar ground, pushing the envelope on what the public will accept as kids' entertainment. The magic behind his Gremlins was a cute, defenseless little pet allied with kids and adults alike against a legitimately dangerous and bloodthirsty enemy. The evil Gremlins weren't just the bad guys; they went after a whole town, burning down buildings and actually drawing blood. Small Soldiers works on much the same premise, but ups the ante. This time, the Commandos are toys powered with military technology and programmed to kill the enemy Gorgonites, and their allies, at any cost. And the weapons that came in the box just won't cut it. When Stuart accidentally brings home Archer, the Commandos raid the neighbor's garage in search of materials. They come at Stuart's family and the Gorgonites with flame-throwers and nail guns, and no one escapes completely unscathed. "There will be no mercy," as Chip Hazard puts it. Of course, the Gorgonites are equipped with the same artificial intelligence, but they're programmed to lose. Think of them as congressional Democrats, in that respect. Through most of the film, Archer and his buddies are endearing but useless to Stuart. The final confrontation isn't pretty, either, but highly entertaining. It takes a while to warm up to this film, darker than Disney but sort of Burton-lite. It's at its best when it's at its most cynical. The biggest difference between Small Soldiers and Gremlins is the ending. We get no big hug from a lovable Hoyt Axton. We get Denis Leary paying everyone off to shut up about the whole thing and selling the toys to the foreign rebels and armies for a huge price. No ancient Chinese wisdom - just good old American capitalism. The movie turns on this point. Either you see the smirk and smirk back, or you're just disgusted and unfulfilled. Give your kids a little credit. They'll probably smirk. If you can watch this movie with a grown-up mind and a childish heart, you just might find yourself joining them. -Nick |
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