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Nick Nick is a writer, editor, musician, and chief goof from Bloomfield, NY. He has freelanced for various publications, and been the editor-in-chief of a regional magazine in Western New York. With degrees in international studies and English, he can speak eloquently about things he knows nothing about. He admires the ultimate smartass in people like Frank Zappa, Neil Young, Ben Folds, George Carlin, Terry Gilliam, Kevin Smith, and the Cohen Brothers, all of whom provide daily inspiration. He is also engaged to a woman who blindly sees more smart than ass in him. Mike Mike is the geek behind Smartass.org. Mike is Webmaster at Wentworth Institute of Technology in Boston, MA. Formally educated in Architecture, most people wonder why Mike is working in Web Administration. (Mike wonders, too.) Apart from the Web and Architecture, Mike enjoys the Simpsons, Mystery Science Theater 3000, various musical selections, and collecting lots of hardware. Mike likes Macs first and foremost, but also has a few pc's handy running WIndows98, NT 4.0 Server, and FreeBSD. In contrast with his Smartass partner, there is no lady in Mike's life (see "geek") but perhaps someday, mom. Chris Bored with the age of 10 by the time he was 9, Chris turned his hand to writing and developed into a young enigma of virility and flatulence. He made his way through a four-year degree on Frank Herbert, The Hobbit, and a series of state and federal grants stolen from someone else's mailbox. He has since collapsed into a jellied mass of science fiction and omniscience. He can often be heard saying, "To paraphrase John Donne," and then saying whatever he pleases. In addition to working as a writer and editor and trying desperately to master the game of chess, Chris also has the largest documented collection of feces-shaped rocks in the world. When writing, he uses any pen he can find exclusively. Mike V. Mike V. is a firm believer in gravity. When not writing music reviews for the New York Press and firing off random thoughts to Smartass, he smashes the windshields of cars whose alarms go off in the middle of the night. He also enjoys gum. Dan Dan isn't a rhomboid, nor is he an Etruscan. He does, however, have a mammalian corpus cavernosum which grows to a repeatable maximum size. But he won't let you see it. (Unless you ask really nice) Dan wants to sell paint, buy a motorcycle, and save up for '64 Buick convertible. He hopes the paint fumes will encourage him to write more opinionated rants, or at least kill off most of those pesky brain cells that are left. Jay P. Jay P. grew up in Cheektowaga, NY, the "Home of the Crabapple Tree" which is probably what made him into a smartass. With a steady diet of hockey, Canadian beer, eighties heavy metal, psilocybin mushroom pierogis, and Weekly World News, Jay hopes to someday become the Rob Ray of the literary world. He moved to Denver because he hopes the altitude will give him a perpetual buzz. Jay T. At age 23, Jay T. is in his second year of law school at the University at Buffalo. He has a BA in English and Psychology, and has published short stories, editorials, and entertainment reviews in Blood & Aphorisms (Canada), Smartass (this fine publication), Sycophant (independent 'zine), Generation (student magazine), and Reach (student handbook). Jay is currently the Executive Editor of the Buffalo Criminal Law Review, and has been the Entertainment Editor of Generation and Reach, and the Editor-in-Chief of Sycophant. Kathy Kathy is dark and mysterious...oh, that's because we haven't gotten a bio from her yet. We'll get right on that. |
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